By: C.Whyte
October 15, 2005

As I sit here finishing up my second bowl of cereal (after I already dominated and entire family sized box of macaroni and cheese) I wonder why I have been so hungry recently. I am not doing anything different in life, in fact, I'm probably living healthier than I ever have before. I hit up the gym a couple times a week, walk to class, and am not stuck in a cube sitting in front of a computer screen for 8 hours a day anymore (summer style), so what is the deal-i-o? There's only one real answer for this mystery: D.Y.

Somehow or other I have caught the DY "I can dominate any meal" Fever and things are running in high gear. As you may or may not be aware of, this is not the first virus I have received from DY. No, not that you disgusting arse holes! I got a case of Hepatitis DY from Dave's "Luke-Warm-Tub." It's pretty much a one of a kind… it acts like a hot tub but the water never gets above 90 degrees (aka, your mouth is hotter than that) so the relaxer always left with a dissatisfied look. For short, I will refer to the tub as the LWT. Apparently DY's dad had cleaned the LWT with dish soap. Running the liquid detergent through the bubble filtration system, the idea of having a 'frothy surface' quickly turned into having 'a butt load of bubbles getting in everyone's face.' As disastrous as that sounds, it did not stop DY from continuing to take the LWT for a spin every morning between the hours of 10-11am (in place of his shower of course). About 2 days after experiencing the luke-warm experience I developed a rash… everywhere.

Sitting in the waiting room in Santa Cruz at 3 in the morning, I saw a lot of things I never would have really seen anywhere else. Of course you have your crazy people wandering around the waiting area not hearing their name being called and the cocky male nurse skipping them completely forcing the crazy people to get all riled up, homeless people faking injuries just to get out of the cold, people coughing, babies crying, and a random old person just sitting in the corner reading a magazine having a great time.What is the deal with the old guy? He was reading some random finance magazine and did not seem to be in any despair whatsoever. Nothing phased this guy. A couple of cops came in with a guy handcuffed with blood dripping down the front of his shirt (either a stab lesion or bullet wound) and the old guy didn't even flinch. I think he cracked a small smile actually. Guarantee that guy was just chillin' like a mad villain in there for the 'heck' of it. Needless to say, my case of the Hepatitis DY was short lived, as a simple week long antibiotic treatment cured it like no other.

But back to the point; I'm sitting here starving for some food REGARDLESS of the fact that I just spent the past hour filling my face! Is this the first step into getting fat? Perhaps some obese person out there could let me know? I think for now I will continue to feed my need to eat and see where it takes me in life. I've always wanted to be the jolly fat guy who ends up barfing at the end of a joke from laughing too hard. Those guys are always pretty fun to be around. The only problem is that I would have to learn how to not get winded walking up a flight of stairs… I already know how to roll down them.