Skypooping

November 23, 2005
By: C.Whyte

A new craze has hit the nation and is taking over Santa Cruz, California by storm. What is it? It's Skypooping. Skypooping consists of climbing up the side walls of bathroom stalls and taking mammoth deuces practically from the ceiling.

The developers have been asked to be called athletes and take full responsibility for their "sport." Brian (the first developer to speak out on this new craze and skypooper veteran of 8 years) claims:

"It's something that requires a little more skill than your little sissy poops that you are used to."

"It is a sport not to be underestimated in any way."

So how exactly does it work? Let's take an example to make it a little easier to understand. The first thing a Skypooper must do is lift the toilet seat and make sure that nothing of value is near (who knows where things are going to end up…). Use the picture below to help you get started:

The second thing to do is to scale the walls of the bathroom so that your touckas is DIRECTLY above the toilet bowl (this is a key step). There are a few ways to climb up the bathroom walls, but remember, no two bathroom stalls are alike, so creativity is mandatory to pull this off.

  Take this picture as an example (just forget about all the other people in the room with her). The girl in the heels and the pink dress is about to skypoop all over the wedding party. She has good technique as she is using the "backwards-crab" approach to scale the massive walls. Notice the use of the toilet cover holder as leverage. Very good tachnique and a good example of how there is never a bad time to sky poop.

Once you have made it to the ideal height location, the rest is easy. We all know how to poop from close range, but the tables turn when you have to really aim and focus. Remember also that no two poops are the same so every time is going to be a different story. Things you want to make sure you avoid: misses, noises, and other people.

Step 3 comes in here. The pressure is now on. You find yourself way above the toilet and a thriving pain to drop a deuce but you are hesitant and scared of the unknown. Do not worry, this is not uncommon. A lot of people can make it to step three but not perform. I will make it easy for you guys to figure out what to do when you are up there with a graphical representation that I will post below in a little bit. Just remember to keep your head clear and keep your eyes on the prize. I recomend practicing in bathroom stalls you do not regularly visit incase of an accidental mishap. Once you have mastered the fine art, you can begin to impress your friends, waving to them from 8 feet in the air while you are using the rest-facilities.

Just remember to always have hope, and to follow this one piece of advice: "Just aim for the X" (Brian, co-creator and developer of skypooping).

Beware! Skypooping is by no means a safe or even a legal part of society yet. Serious injuries have and will occur when skypooping is done out of context. Make sure you follow the listed rules before attempting anything past step one of this sport.

Falling from the tremendous height can put quite the burden on your deuce dropping abilities for the future, so if you do feel yourself falling, please fall the correct way. First of all, do whatever you can in your power to push yourself away from the toilet; if you are bad enough to fall, then you probably didn't do to well on the aiming aspect of it either. Also, do not land on your neck. As seen below this can cause nothing but pain and hardship for you and those you love. How do you explain to the doctor that you broke your head open pooping 8 feet in the air. Take it from me, it doesn't go over too well.