Frozen Soup

December 31, 2005
By: C.Whyte

Here's a little guide I whipped up while watching my brother "Wang" make frozen soup this past weekend. I always thought it was an easy thing to do, but I have to say that it is harder than it looks (for some). Hopefully by the end of this you can all be masters at making frozen soup.

First off, what is frozen soup? Frozen soup is any regular soup that has been made and put in the freezer for future consumption. The difficult part of this preservation style is getting it from a block of ice to a delicious creamy meal.

Let’s get started. The first step is to drop the block of soup into a pot, turn the heat on, and prepare for the time of your life. In this case, we are using some sort of “Bean Soup” but this strategy works for any type. Random fact: my favorite soup is tomato apple soup.

If it starts to melt and drip off the side, you have to get a paper towel and dab the drips off. A little unconventional, but then again, this is how Wang makes his frozen soup. Remember his slogan: "Never give up hope."

  

If the soup is really frozen and your stomach is not ready to wait for the full melt then you are going to have to take measures into your own hands. Run (or walk) to where ever you keep your steak knives and bring one over. Make sure you don't trip or fall because disaster is bound to happen.

  

Take the knife to the soup and begin to say. In the video below we can see how ineffective this method is but still it is worth a shot incase you hit a soft spot and "get lucky" with it breaking in half.

After the knifing, there is more than likely going to be quite the mess on the stove top. Here you have a choice: either clean it later, or clean it now. The smarter of the two choices is to just take the time and clean it up now, as we see Wang do below (quite the rare image indeed).

  

Once the clean up is done, your soup should be a little further on in the melting process by this point. Still pretty solid and uneatable, you are far from done, but the worst is over. The next step is to just lean over the pot and watch the madness melt: "it's the most important step in making soup" (Wang).

  

It's now time to put a big goofy smile on your face and start mixing the soup up with a spoon. The soup is finally looking like real eatable soup! One of the last steps is to put a big "thumbs up" sign over the boiling pot of soup… it's the most important step.

  

Taste the soup at this point. Usually the soup will taste fantastic, but in our case we have Wang as our chef, so there's going to have to be some sort of way to dispose of the soup. In this case, Wang is using the kitchen sink to dispose of the bowl of barf he made. A pretty good choice if I do say so myself.

  

Once the soup is all poured out and the all the pots and pans and spoons are cleaned up, you should hang your head in shame (like what Wang is doing here) and just wait for a few minutes to let the pain of defeat roll over.

Well, there you go. That's how you make frozen soup according to Wang. In all fairness, he did try his hardest and he never gave up hope. He's giving a tutorial on how to make a salad next week… I'll make sure it's documented somehow.