Wang

December 1, 2005
By: Tessa McGarvey

Last night my housemates Liz and Laurie and I were hanging out, drinking beer, and shooting the shit in our living room. C Dub was in his room with Tasha, so we dared not go near his door.

We were immersed in a conversation about sex, like usual. All of the sudden our back door opened. It was one o'clock in the morning, so we were worried it was the cops again, since last time we had a little bit to drink it was apparently too rowdy for the neighbors.

But no, it was not the cops but the one and only Wang who decided to grace us with his presence.

"Hey guys, what's up?" said Wang.

"Hey WANG!!!!!" we all said. "What's up?"

"I just came back from a concert. I need Charles to give me a ride back to campus."

We all looked at each other, knowing that Charles would probably be in no position to give anyone a ride anywhere at that time, well not the kind of ride Wang needed anyway.

"He's…sleeping," explained Laurie.

"Aww man. Are the buses still running?" asked Wang looking crestfallen.

"Not the 10," said Liz.

We all looked at Wang and felt for him. Liz and Laurie were both tipsy off of their beers and I lamely did not own a driver's license, so none of us could help.

"I know!" I said at last. "I'll ask Sarah!"

So I yelled down to Sarah (sounds like anthrax) the situation. She came up in a fury.

"Are you telling me that Charles can't drive his own brother?!!!" she screamed.

"Sarah, he's busy" we explained, trying not to desecrate Wang's ears.

"BUSY?????!!! You mean he's not even SLEEPING???"

"Sarah, keep your voice down, he's in there with Tasha," I said, hoping she would get the point.

Now it was completely clear to Wang what was going on here, and he looked extremely scared and embarrassed.

"Knock on his door anyway!" said Sarah.

"There's nothing they're doing that they can't pick right back up again" she added. She obviously did not know what she was talking about.

Liz interjected with "Well, it depends how far along they are…" At this point Wang looked like he wanted to die.

"Stop," said Laurie, "Just stop."

"You know what, just call him" said Sarah "CALL HIM! CALL HIM NOW!!! FUCKING NOW!!!!"

Being extremely scared of this girl whose name sounded like anthrax, Wang agreed to call Charles. Wang and C Dub spoke a few words to each other before Sarah grabbed the phone away and yelled at C Dub.

"DRIVE YOUR BROTHER TO CAMPUS! HE'S YOUR BROTHER! DO IT! I'M AN ACTRESS! JAZZ! I'M FAMOUS!"

We were all confused at this point. Wang was able to wrestle back his phone. After coming to an agreement, he hung up and told us that Charles would be out in five minutes.

Eventually his door opened, and out came Charles C Dub in a pair of basketball shorts, a sweatshirt and flip flops.

I'm pretty sure Charles kicked Sarah's ass later that night, but I didn't see it. Poor Wang probably cried himself to sleep.

These are the moments that make college great.